{Changes}

To say that today has been a crazy day would be an understatement. I mean, in my world it hasn't been all that crazy...but the world around me has been crazy.

Life changes and the people in it change.

I'm starting to learn more and more who I can trust and who I can't trust. I'm actually really pissed as I write this as I think about one person in particular who I wish I could trust. This person is a HUGE big mouth. It's frustrating to watch to be honest because I've seen this person talk about other people like it's her right to let people know what's going on in others lives. Bitch. haha.

Anyway, I just needed to say that and get it out somewhere so I can go to bed happy.

Goodnight fellow bloggers!

-Hilda

{Patience}

Patience :: the quality of being patient, as the bearing of provocation, annoyance, misfortune, or pain, without complaint, loss of temper, irritation, or the like.

{Self-Respect}

Apparently I have been lacking in this area of my life. It's true. I've completely let my self go and fall into the wrong arms, in all the wrong places, at all the wrong times.

No more. I'm putting an end to the misery and emptiness that I feel when I fall into those arms. I'm not going back.

Thanks to a good friend of mine who basically slapped me and woke me up from this "dream" I was living in, I've realized that no one should have my heart if they are just going to take a piece of it and use it for a short time only to throw it way when they're done with it.

I love my friends. I couldn't ask for better friends. Especially the ones who are not ashamed to say it how it is to me. Some might think that they should just let me live my life but the truth is, the reason why we have friends is so that they can guide us through life. We help each other whenever we need it the most. Tonight, I should've listened...but I didn't. I feel disgusted with myself and honestly, I wish I wasn't even in my own skin.

I realized tonight what it means to have friends that honestly care no matter how distant our relationships might actually be, or how "little" I might know the person. There are those people that are put in our lives to help us when we're stumbling and at the end of the day, those are the ones that matter the most. The ones who will only judge you to help you not to condemn you, and the ones who will tell you they love you and are perfect just the way you are.

I'm thankful for these friends because without them, I'd be dead.

To those friends, {you know who you are} I'm sorry. I've already said it to you but I feel like I couldn't say it enough times to erase the idiocy that has ensued. I love you guys for loving me for me, regardless of my faults. You are fucking awesome! <3

Hilda.

{School}

Last fall, when all of my friends were going back to school I found myself thinking "Why am I not going back to school?" I quickly kicked myself in the ass with the thought "Because I'm making money! duh!"

This year seems a little different. Last week, when my friends were going back to their second year of University or College I found myself thinking, "why the f$!@ am I not going back to school?!"

It was more so that I was disappointed in myself that I wouldn't take the initiative to go back to school and do something that I really love.

Last week, I decided that September 2011, I will go back to school. I will leave a job that gives me a steady paycheque and secure lifestyle to live a humble student life. I'm not even scared of saying that! Why? Well because I know I'll be doing something I love.

Social Work has always been something that has interested me. To be honest, the human condition is something that is always interesting for me! MacEwan University will give me the skills I need to work with people with developmental disabilities or hinderences, poor social and economic situations, and most importantly, PEOPLE WHO NEED PEOPLE.

I truly believe that we are put on this earth to help each other. I can honestly say that in the almost three years that I have worked in a corporate environment, I have lost sight of that belief. The belief that no matter how low you may think you are in the world, there are people willing to help. I am one of those people. I love helping people! It's what I was called to do and if receiving an education on how to do that better is what I need, then so be it. I know that whatever I set my mind to, I can achieve.

Things are slowly turning around for me and I'm really excited to see where the road takes me.

As always, thanks for reading.

-h.

{House of Cards}

I've been obsessed with this song recently.

Forget about your house of cards...

Hope you like it!

-h.

Lyrics posted below:

"House Of Cards"

I don't wanna be your friend
I just wanna be your lover
No matter how it ends
No matter how it starts

Forget about your house of cards
And I'll do mine
Forget about your house of cards
And I'll do mine

Fall off the table,
And get swept under
Denial, denial

The infrastructure will collapse
From voltage spikes
Throw your keys in the bowl
Kiss your husband 'good night'

Forget about your house of cards
And I'll do mine
Forget about your house of cards
And I'll do mine

Fall off the table,
And get swept under

Denial, denial
Denial, denial

Your ears are burning
Denial, denial
Your ears should be burning
Denial, denial