{About A Boy}

So at the beginning of February I began online communication with a gentlemen. It was great! We were able to keep the conversation going and the second time we had talked he asked me out to coffee. I am a huge chicken when it comes to meeting someone in person who I've been chatting with online. Don't get me wrong, I don't mind doing it I'm just known to freak out a little bit on the day of the actual meeting. This time was no different...

So I wasn't able to arrange for coffee with him until three weeks into our communicating. I set-up a double date with my friend and her husband and the two of us. I met up with him first downtown and we walked around and talked and got to know each other in person because after all, it's different chatting with someone online than in person. It went really well and it was a great night. No complaints. So, the following Friday I decided to invite him over to my friends house where I would be spending the night and that was fun. I drank a little too much but he didn't seem to mind so that was good and we cuddled and just spent a lot of the night just lounging on the couch. It was great!

After that we have gone out twice and it's going so well. Eek! It's kind of exciting. He's a great person and an old soul and I love it. It's amazing and refreshing to be with someone who not only respects me but can actually hold a conversation without my thoughts running away with me on some randomness. I find myself wanting to just listen to him talk because he reads a lot and absorbs a lot of information. He’s a great guy and I’m anxious to see where things go.

Of course my mom is itching to meet him and my dad is playing the somewhat over-protective father who asks all the questions because his little girl is dating a guy that they have never heard of. Haha. I’m sure they will eventually get over it.

But yeah, I’m really glad that everything is going well. He’s a sweet guy. Stay tuned…

{Panic Attack}

It all happens so quickly. One second you're sitting and the next you feel like the world is going to end. It isn't the greatest feeling in the world and you only wish you can walk away from it in one piece. You hope that the world won't realize what is happening to you, but at the same time wish there was something they could do for you. You feel trapped inside your body, like you're in a jail. Not knowing what will happen the next second, minute, hour. Your body feels tingly and yet surprisingly numb. Breathing becomes difficult and the pressure on your chest is almost too much to bare. Minutes feel like hours as you try to calm yourself down only to give in to the horrifying sensation that there isn't anything else that could go wrong.

"Walk, just walk it off" is what you tell yourself. "Breathe, just breathe" is what you hope will relieve this feeling. Thinking happy thoughts doesn't seem to work either...



Then, as quickly as it happened, it leaves. You're left with the feeling that something bad almost happened but didn't quite follow through. And now you're left to pick up the pieces, of a moment in your life that you hope will never happen again. The feeling of anxiety and fear for the unknown suppresses you, but you have to shake it off. "Don't think about it anymore" ...it's in the past now, even though you know that one day the same feeling that you despise...



...will haunt your very soul.