Internet Dating

If someone had told me a year and a half ago that I would find myself single and looking I think I would've been surprised and angry at that statement. But honestly, here I am. Single and looking - but not for a long term commitment. Looking for someone to hang out with and be with. That's about it. I miss having a guy call me 'sweetie' and 'hun' - well at least the spanish equivalent to those two words of endearment.

I have in the past signed up for dating sites just to meet new people and I have once again fallen into this. I have chatted with guys online before - actually, I've been doing it for about 7 years now. It's fun and interesting! haha. I had actually never ever met someone that I had met online until this past Friday. My experience was one that I will never forget and it was indeed quite refreshing to be able to just take a deep breath and let go. It was a fun night, and although I think that the only thing we have in common is the fact that we are both signed up on Lavalife and we like to laugh, I think that it is great friendship potential - although, I did quite enjoy the Tequila toast "To Our Children".

Since I signed up I have talked to probably over a dozen guys. Some of which have been interesting only for a couple of minutes and others that I actually found extremely interesting and I find that I still chat with or I only chatted with them for a couple of months.

I know people that are extremely weary of internet chatting/dating because of all the creeps that are out there but the way that I think of it is that as long as you pre-screen the other person and listen to the red flags - you can't really go wrong. I mean, for people who aren't internet smart then of course it'll probably be a horrible experience but really...what are you afraid of? Don't you think that there are other people online who are chatting with you that might think..."is this other person a creep?" whilst you sit at your computer and thinking the exact same thing? There are a lot more NORMAL people signing up on internet dating sites. People just like you that aren't interested in luring you to a dark corner in an alley off Whyte and raping you...

In saying all of this though, I do recommend that you be careful with it. Not all people online have the best of intentions. I have come across many creeps and almost too straightforward in the way they communicate about what they are looking for - which usually means countless of sexual fantasies. It happens. It happens in real life and it happens online. I think that one question we should ask ourselves when seeking to meet new people online is: Is this guy/girl saying anything makes them across as [insert negative trait here]? I am extremely weary of overprotective and controlling men so that is what i look for in my conversations with guys before I meet them. Trust me, there have been more red flags than one would like but it's not always that bad.

I don't agree or endorse the comments people make about internet daters when they call us "desperate". Why? Well, wouldn't the same be said for people who go to a restaurant, bar, club, church, concert, social gather, etc. hoping to find the same thing? Seriously. We are hearing of more and more couples who sign up for eHarmony and various other sites only to find a deep connection with someone.

I go into everything with an open mind and do not let somewhat interesting/bad/mediocre experiences close my mind. Life is about living - so go on. Live your life. Live it wisely, but don't hibernate in a hole fearing that if you escape from your hole the worst will happen.

So I guess this is my way of putting it out there that I am indeed signed up on Lavalife, and Plenty of Fish to hopefully find someone to hang with and maybe more.

Judge me. Hate me. Love me. I don't care. Just don't give up on finding love.

-h.