To be completely honest with you, I've just been out...living. And probably not to par with a lot of what my friends think "living" should be...but nonetheless, I have been living.
My photography was going steadily for a little bit before the snow hit and now I'm kind of stuck doing nothing...although that isn't completely true. I've got a couple of gigs at work for photos. So that is a good thing and I'm excited to see how it goes.
Um...I'm not sure who reads this blog anyway but basically, I haven't been to church in about 3 months. I haven't really felt the need to and to be quite honest with you: I am repulsed by the idea. A couple of weeks ago I had a heated argument with someone from my old church over nudity in films. It was extremely frustrating and I came out emotionally and mentally exhausted from that. It wasn't a pleasant experience and revealed to me how hard it is to change someones mind. I honestly felt stupid for even arguing with the person...I realized that not only was he being irrational...but even though the message he was trying to "preach" was probably extremely valid and a good point to address...he was being extremely pushy in the way of "preaching" it. I wanted to look him in the face and say "F**K YOU BUDDY!" that is how frustrated I was. And honestly, I did say those words just not to him directly. It made me repulsed by the idea that the way that he was coming across was the way that people view Christians. So frustrating, thus the reason I am repulsed.
That's probably why I haven't really taken the time to voice my thoughts or feelings in here...I don't want everyone to know my dirty laundry. And I really don't want the people who I used to go to church with to ask me "How are you and the Big Guy doing?" because I don't think that I owe anyone an explanation on how that is going...no matter how accountable being want me to be. For your information, I am not accountable to you.
Blah. I'm sorry. If you've read up to hear I guess...good on ya? I don't even know. This is kind of a depressing post. yikes! This is not what I intended but sometimes when you start something there is no telling where it's going to end up...
I've actually had to take a couple of breaks during this blog post to kind of control and organize my thoughts because I have soo many running through my head. Not to mention Facebook and text conversations...
I guess I don't really know what the point of this post is. Perhaps I just needed to get all of my anger and frustration out somewhere. I'm sorry that I vomitted all over you. Sorry.
2010 has so far proven to be an interesting year for me. I find myself extremely broke because of my unnecessary and compulsive spending last year...so I'm glad to say that January was great for catching up on debt and February continues the same...but because of that, I'm dirt poor. I have $26 in my bank account...which actually, considering how I used to have an overdraft account on my chequing account, is a good thing because at least I'm not in the negatives...It's just a bit ridiculous. But that's what happens...and you learn from your mistakes. I'm learning the hardway.
In March I will be purchasing a new camera to my collection and also second shooting a wedding. I will start driver's ed in April - fingers crossed - and in July I am going to California for about a week and a half for my cousin, Carlos', wedding. I'm extremely excited. I need to get away and I need to see my cousins. I'm buying my first car in October of this year...
(that's my future baby!)Having my car will help me get around for photoshoots and stuff so I'm
really looking forward to it! :)
Other than that...I turned 21 a couple of weeks ago. So that feels different. Um...I'm been trying the online dating thing and it has proven to be interesting...we'll see how it goes. haha.
I don't know what else to say...
Check out this song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7f4TItnxVOw
Thanks for reading!
-- h.
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