Decisions, decision

original date: March 11, 2009

So once again I have decisions to make.

For the longest time I was confused as to what I wanted to be "when i grew up" and then when the growing up arrived and I had to decide, I had absolutely no idea. So i started working and then I landed a fantastic job opportunity with a Property Management company. That was October of '07. So I'm still there...but now I'm starting to finally realize the path that God wants me to take. I want to better equip myself in the field of Psychology; specifically the behavioural side of Psychology. But now here comes the tough part...I have to upgrade. Yes; for those who do not know, upgrading is for students who decided to slack off in high school, or for adults who want to go back to school. I am in the first category. High School - the school work part of it anyway - was a joke to me. I didn't do homework, i studied occasionally, and of course it showed when I graduated with passing grades. So now I'm paying for it. I recently completed the upgrading for my 12th grade English class, but now I have realized that I have to also upgrade 12th grade Math and Social Studies. It sucks big time! But I take full responsibility for that.

I'm going to meet with an advisor at MacEwan next week to talk to them about the upgrading options I have. Should I repeat the courses that I want to upgrade or should I take a college equivalent? We'll see what they say.

But here is where the dilemma comes in.

The company that I work with has recently released yet another Employee Incentive program to promote "global community" within the organization. I have the opportunity to choose from about 6 or 7 different countries to volunteer in for 2 weeks. All expenses paid, 2 weeks paid off of work to go volunteer and serve in a country. The process is that I need to apply with my company and then wait until June 1, 2009 to find out if I have been accepted as one of the few who will have the opportunity to go somewhere and serve. I haven't applied yet, even though I would love to go to work at an orphanage in Argentina, due in large part to the timeline of all of this. If I got notification that I was accepted in June, I would then have to apply with Projects Abroad and wait for them to accept me. Who knows how long this process could take?! So I emailed Projects Abroad and told them the dilemma that I have. I have yet to hear back.

See it wouldn't be such an issue if I wasn't already planning to go back to school on a full-time/part-time basis this fall. So I'm waiting and praying because I know that if the waiting process to actually go and serve could take up to 6 months then I know that is too long and I know that this is an opportunity that I will just have to let go of. Which is unfortunate but I mean...God is in control right? I feel like God is urging me to go back to school. I hear him telling me that he will help me get through the stress that writing research papers and studying for finals and midterms brings. I know it in my heart...but volunteering abroad is such an amazing experience...especially knowing that I don't have to pay anything. Of course I have not been accepted yet so I am only assuming all of this if I were accepted.

This is what is on my mind right now. These two opportunities that have risen. I know right now I'm leaning more towards just forgetting the whole Projects Abroad thing and sticking to my plan of going to school in the fall and hopefully getting into a University or College in September 2010. That is what I truly believe God is telling me...this volunteer thing may just be yet another test from God.

I hope that I can be in your prayers somehow...among the other things that I'm sure you are all praying for continually.

My prayer list for this week so far is:
clarity of heart and mind, my friend(s) who are kind of missing how amazing Jesus is and forgetting that they are not doing life alone if they have Jesus.

Please help me pray. Thank you.

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God."
Philippians 4:6

Hilda