Living in the past, present, future

Have you ever found yourself thinking, wondering - no let's use envisioning - a moment in your life that you wish you could just freeze so that you could hold on to the feeling of that particular moment?

Have you ever wondered what it would've been like if that moment had actually gone the direction you are only now wishing it had taken?

Have you ever considered the idea that not only are you enthralled by that moment, but that every time you think about it you seem to live in it?

I have recently had a moment that I wish had never ended. An evening that I wish had lasted forever. Of course it was with a boy. Sometimes when I go back to that moment when our hands slightly touched I think...why did it stop there? Why didn't it continue into a full on finger-locking moment? Why did I want more? Should I let it go and move on from that moment and focus on the future?

As soon as I do that I think about the future in a different way; I return to that moment. I begin to envision the present in a different way. I imagine that night, a slight graze of the fingers, moving naturally into a finger-lock. And then I picture myself now - 3 weeks later, happy with a great guy holding me in a deep embrace. And then I am abruptly brought back to reality when I realize that I am living in the past. Dreaming in the present, of a future with a boy I am only friends with.

Dreams come true though, right?

If you said, sometimes, you're probably right. However, in my world, dreams rarely ever come true.